EUREKA

I find that when I jump out of the bath tub and run across town naked, I get arrested.

I find when I think my gold products are 24K., the hock shop owner declares they are not even 12K.

I find when my hair is gold, I have more fun.

I find the golden years are really tin.

I find there's gold in these hills..... EUREKA

                                     PARENT   (from Sunday Scribbles)

My Dad was a farmer and after 2 girls and no boys until I was eight, he made a farmer of me.
By the time I'd ran the tractor in the slough, caught the cultivator between two poles, ran the disc up on the tractor wheel, buried the tractor in the mud, I'm sure he regretted it.
His saying was "Pray for rain, but keep hoeing." And we did. He made work fun. If I had it to do all over again, I'd do it.
Happy Father's Day, Dad, up in heaven plowing that straight furrow.

A funny thing happened to me on the way back from the airport yesterday. My husband drove down, but I had to drive back alone, and I'm a country hick and do not drive well in the city. So with the traffic buzzing round me, I began to tense up. I flipped on the radio, hoping the noise would ease my tension. The song playing(it was an older song, I'd heard it before) was about a man who was raising his son alone, and he told God, I don't think I can do this. God told him, "I'm here with you, so keep your hand on the wheel, and stay between the lines." I laughed out loud. I said, "Ok, God, I got it. Thanks." I made the rest of the trip relaxed and laughed all the way home.

                                                       FORTRESS

I need to build a fortress around my farm. According to Fox News, they soon will come to take it away from me. "They" will either be aliens, Russians, or Democrats.
If it is aliens, then I'm in trouble. They will come in from above and I don't think they've invented those "force fields" that they show on t.v. yet.
If it's the Russians, I should be safe. If they would break through my fortress, I still have plenty of hiding places; they'd never find me. Plus I'm an excellent shot.
If it's the democrats, I'll just give them a big donation.

                                        STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

No, no, I'm not EVEN going to compare myself with the great King David, but he really fascinates me the way he handled multitasking.
You think you're busy? Check out the accomplishments of David. David was a shepherd, a poet,(I write a few), a prophet(I even do some predicting), a hero, a king, a soldier, a commander-in-chief, a statesman, an administrator, a musician, a leader, a devoted father,and a sinner.(I can relate to that one) He even invented some musical instruments. These are great accomplishments for one man's lieftime in any era. Pretty amazing man.
David played the harp for King Saul. There's musical talent in our family, but I didn't get any. Tom does say I'm good at harping though.
There was one tiny episode i experienced that was similar to David's. It also dealt with a sling shot. No, I didn't slay a giant. Years ago when Tom & I were first married, I walked to the back yard to see what he was doing. He had a sling shot and was attempting to shoot starlings off fence posts. He hadn't hit one. I said, "Let me see that thing." I picked up my first smooth stone and placed it in the sling shot. A starling flew overhead. I drew back and shot. The bird fell to the ground.
Tom said, "Kay, go back in the house."
This was one time, I'm sure David and I shared the same feeling. After a shot like that, we'd better hang up our sling shots.

COMPARING 2011 FLOOD TO NOAH'S

God authorized Noah's flood, not the Corp of Engineers.
In Noah's day, they had never seen it rain before, we've experienced a few floods.
They did NOT fill sand bags back then.
One 8 inch rain did not a flood make.
This flood gave us about 3 weeks warning. Noah's flood had about 100 years warning and they still missed the boat.
God sent the water for 40 days and 40 nights in Noah's flood, not all summer long.
Noah notified the animals. The Corps did not. Yeah, the animals were smarter than the people, they got on the boat.
Noah sent a dove to check for dry land. We will send a helicopter.
Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. Let's hope we do.

TO CONGRESS FROM KAY GIBSON

I would like to pen and render a citizen's bill that has NO pork barrels attached.
I'd like to suggest the next president, whomever he or she may be(further known as he) make some cold cuts immediately. Instead of going hog wild on how much more he can spend on inauguration parties and how high on the hog he can get redocorating the White House... chop this expense in half. If he did this, he might just convince the people his is serious about cutting the fat.
Congress: Let me suggest you NOT chop away at Social Security and medicare. Don't slaughter your own people. Do squeal on Medicare fraud because it is happening. By all mean, wean those off welfare and take the meat away from the illegals. Let them grze on their own and not wallow in our citizen's benefits.
Charity begins at home. Cut the strings of the silk purse to overseas and turn it back into a sow's ear. We're sending billions of our little green piggies overseas. Butcher foreign aid. Those who run those foreign governments are fattening their own pockets and the rest of the people are living in pig stys. Huffing & puffing at our own citizens is not the answer.
I won't boar you any longer with my grunting. Yes, this is a roast, I'm not ribbing, and you can take that to market.